The journey begins...

Molly was born on June 15th 2012. She came into this world loved and adored for the beginning by not only her family, but by our gracious God. Molly had two OAE hearing screenings in the hospital and failed both. We were told not to worry that most of the babies that receive this referral pass the next test. I didn't even worry about it and we began to adjusting to life with a newborn and two kids. Molly did what newborns do, she slept most of the time and ate. Even as a newborn was sweet and hardly cried, except when she wanted to eat. Then on July 10th we went in for her referral appointment. The audiologist did an OAE screening, which she failed again and then did a test for fluid. One ear looked like a normal ear pattern and the other looked as if there was fluid. Then an ABR screening was done, a more intense test to determine the level loss. We were told she was not hearing at any level of this test and in a month we would need a more intense ABR next month. The audiologist shared with us that it could still be fluid and that we would know better at the next visit. Of course being the person I am, I asked what was worse case scenario and the audiologist shared that Molly may have profound loss and be deaf. However the audiologist offered hope by sharing that she may end up being the candidate for cochlear implants. That's when it hit me, she may not be able to hear me at all. I asked and the audiologist said that if she could I sound muffled, like the Charlie brown teacher.
So I went home in shock and a bit of a mess. I began researching the deaf community and then began to look into the implants. I watched countless videos of children getting implants turned on and sobbed, as I realized my plan for Molly's life might be drastically different than I had imagined. I began to realize that I would need tremendous support to get through the next month. I reached out to many of you on Facebook and in person. I was floored by the support, thoughts, and prayers that were extended. I began praying and began to realize that Molly's little ears were in God's hands. God began to gave me immense peace. While we were still hoping that it would be fluid that would drain. I believe the Lord began to prepare me and Aaron for news we were to receive. One thing many of you do not know, is that when I was pregnant with Molly I prayed that she would be in presence and demeanour an example of God's love. That all that would meet her would encounter kindness and love. Little did I know that in order for that to be true, she would need to have a disability. As the month passed I began to feel more and more that God was with me and that he would heal her. I began to tell others whether it be miraculous or through a drs hands she would hear. The week leading up to her appointment I began to get a little anxious, what I had been telling people and feeling would be tested. I again reached out and more of you joined us in prayer. God began bringing people to me that had been touched by deafness, a few even who had children with implants. I still hoped she would just have fluid that could be drained. I could tell that hearing had improved only slightly,and that was when I had Adam scream really loud in her ear. However I also could tell that she wasn't hearing anything else. The night before her appointment Aaron and I prayed over her and released it all into God's hands. I was able to say "it is well with my soul" and because of God's great comfort I truly meant it. Though I did not want that to be tested, I was at peace with God's answer.

The day, Aug 10th, came and the audiologist ran the fluid image, no fluid seemed to be present and I hoped a little inside. Then we ran the OAE again, and again she failed. So now it was how much loss does she have. Molly was fussy so we fed her and tried to get her to sleep, the ABR works better that way. The test was run on the left ear and some hearing was detected, but only at 85 dcb, so only really loud noises, we speak at about 60 dcb. Then the right was done and nothing was detected. I asked what that meant, the audiologist shared the news I was hoping she wouldn't, profound loss in the right and severe in the left. I was amazed by the peace I felt at the same time as sadness. I wasn't so much upset that she was deaf, but that she could not hear right then. I am ok with all this because God is granting me such peace and strength. I cannot take credit, because this not of me, it's actually almost the opposite of normal reaction.
So where did go from here, the next step is an ENT appointment on thursday, in which the Dr will look at her ears to determine if everything is formed correctly and they will run a test to determine if the loss is genetic and referrals to more than likely Scottish Rite will be made. Please be praying that visits go smoothly and we get follow ups quickly. The earlier we can determine if she can get implants the sooner we can get them and if we can get them in by about a year old there will be almost no delay in speech and she will sound and speak no different than her peers.